Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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