i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
