does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
