YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
