we made out on top of his cat.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
