what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
