if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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