do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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