how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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