Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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