Jerry, you need to find god
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
