ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
These tits shall not be calmed
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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