Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
