Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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