proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
