any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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