And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
