You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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