it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
