He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
