is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am spending my child support on dildos
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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