it wasn't lemon gatorade
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
