she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and she was petting her beer can
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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