worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There r osticjed everywhere
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
