Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
