for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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