Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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