There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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