It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
