As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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