Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just threw up on my dentist
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
