Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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