saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
too bad you live with your parents still
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
