I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
