Just fell off a train. Bad.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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