So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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