so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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