I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
