can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Damn victory sex feels great
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
