I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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