my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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