You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
