Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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