he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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