Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
