the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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