You made me cry and you don't even care
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
