So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
