saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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