yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
