ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
