Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize