He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
