Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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