My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
