Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
