so that wasnt chicken after all
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
