My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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