Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
