playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
