i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
