I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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