the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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