Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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