Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
